Bus Therapy:6 Tips To Help Riders Hold On

Public transportation sucks in most cities. L.A. is no exception. Unlike NY, Chicago or anywhere else where the trains and buses run frequently and somewhat on time, the city of lost angels has yet to catch up. The new transit system runs nowhere. And I mean nowhere. Unless you’re a tourist in Hollywood and you need to travel from Mann’s Chinese Theater to Hollywood and Vine. The buses are no better. If you have a schedule throw it out the window. A closed one.

In order to get anywhere on time in the city where traffic never moves it requires your leaving the house at least two hours prior. I absolutely hate riding the bus. No snobbery here. I’m cool with public transpo if it’s going to get me somewhere.  Instead I find myself stuck in a snail’s race and my daily pace coming to a screeching halt. Throw in the parade of characters who board with their usual shenanigans and I’m left pulling out what little hair I have left. Down to two strands last time I checked.

Ramble. Ramble. Rumble. Rumble. The wheels on the bus go round and round. What can you do? Bitch less. Pray more. For a new car that is. Hell, I’ll take a ’88 Cutlass with no engine at this point. Doing my best Fred Flintstone down La Brea.

Ironically, yesterday while on the bus heading to a grove with no oranges, I discovered that unknowingly I’d created a morning routine to help me combat my lousy commute. By lousy I mean the people who insist on playing their music loudly with no earphones. I like Mary J. too but I don’t wanna hear “Real Love” blaring at 7:00 in the morning. Real talk. Of course there are other rider infractions.  Far too many to lists. Instead I’ll offer up a few suggestions that should keep you from putting a fellow commuter in a chokehold between stops.

1. Always have a book or magazine handy for reading or giving the person seated next to you a quick swat because the gum popping is out of control(Shape magazine makes a nice thud when folded tightly)

2. Tune in with your iPod or iPhone to tune out the really wack hip hop that’s usually coming from the back of the bus(“I’m different, yeah I’m different“…Ummmm, no you’re not)

3. Write it down(That’s right. Journal your journey. Whether you’re recounting the past day’s events or struggling with titles for the sitcom now inspired by your daily commute. “Rider’s Hell” or “Bus It!”.

4. Take a nap(A quick snooze does a body good. Your purse or backpack might be gone when you finally wake up but at least you’re now rested enough to file a police report)

5. Pack snacks(Better yet, eat your lunch. Emotional eater versus emotional rider? Take your pick)

6. Always carry spare change(Comes in handy when the bus driver refuses to pull off until the rider who needs change has the right fare amount)